As I wrapped the last Christmas gift a little bit ago, I was in deep thought over how birthdays and holidays affect my son. Since I was in such deep thought, I wasn't paying attention and I dropped the Millennium Falcon, and it made all kinds of noise. My son, who was supposed to be asleep, in his room, with the door closed (note, my door is closed too) heard the noise. I hear him pop out of bed, open his door, start banging on my door WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE MOMMY. Oh, I'm really tired I'm sleeping. NO YOU ARENT, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH TOYS!!!! That one's a smart one he is. Go back to bed. lol How can he hear this through two closed doors, yet he can't hear me say his name when I'm sitting right next to him?
I don't talk much about my children, so most all of you don't know my son has ADD. Birthdays and holidays are very hard on him. There are so many new things, and he wants them all open right now. RIGHT NOW. Patience is something we have been working long and hard on, but it does not come easy to him. His mind jumps forward too fast, and he can't stay focused, especially when faced with new toys. I know I should be looking forward to Christmas, and cherishing the fact this is my last baby being so excited for Santa to come. But honestly, I'm dreading our Christmas morning. He's meticulous about not tearing wrapping paper, so it takes him a while to open anything. He then wants to study it for a minute. I have no problem with this, I don't rush him, he does things at his own pace. The problem always comes when he is done unwrapping everything and borderline freaks out because he can't decide what to play with first. It's too much for him.
This year, I finally got smart. Most everything can be played with together. This is going to eliminate some of the short attention span/focus problem, and being overwhelmed for him. There of course are some other educational things, and his favorite, clothes. But for the most part everything can be played with together, and I think this is really going to make this Christmas morning so much easier for him. In birthdays and Christmases past, I have gotten in the habit of opening boxes to get guys/cars/whatever it is out to be one step ahead of him. This has also helped a lot.
I have been a parent a long time. What worked with one child did not work with the others. My son has been my biggest challenge to find what works with him. But he and I understand each other. I can find what works for him because I relate. There is too much "excitement" this time of year for him anyway, it overwhelms him to easy. We have quiet down time to try to help with that. Reading is his new passion, so we read a lot. I will be happy when the holidays are over though, so we can get back to our normal schedule.
And just in case you didn't catch it up at the top of this blog, that's right, all my wrapping is done. I just felt the need to make sure you knew this :)
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I know I am on a tangent about parenting lately, but it seems like every single time I leave the house I am hit with it. Before I go any further, and before someone comes along trying to start shit, I never claimed to be a perfect parent. I have made mistakes along the way. BUT, I have also been very consistent with what I expect from my children, and have always stayed on top of any behavior that got out of line. This is why my children are polite, respectful, and behave when I leave the house with them.
1. If you know your child requires a nap at a certain time, don't try to force the little darling in to being happy about sitting on a stranger's lap when said child misses their nap. I'm not sure who was more frustrated by that meltdown, Santa or you. Regardless, it's not fair to your child, and it's definitely not fair to Santa.
2. If you know your toddler is scared to death of Santa, do not force your child to sit on his lap. Holding him down while he's flipping the fuck out is not cool. I'm surprised Santa didn't bitch slap you to be honest. And it did look like he was going to.
3. Keep your kids in check. Allowing them to run around aimlessly knocking in to people, and running over toddlers is not cool. Laughing when that happens makes me want to run you over. With a truck. And then put it in reverse and run you over again.
4. The malls are crowded this time of year. Nobody likes that. But stopping to stare at the ceiling right fucking in front of me not once, but three times, causing me to run in to you all three times does in fact result in me saying "bitch get the FUCK out of my way". Don't look offended. There was nothing on the ceiling of interest. Yes I stupidly looked to see if I had missed something, and guess what? I didn't.
5. When mall security is chasing you through the mall, the smart thing would be to stop. Face it, you're caught. Don't start screaming about your rights when you are met at the other end of the mall by the other half of security and tackled.
6. Do not look at me like that for taking my children in to Hot Topic. There is nothing in there they shouldn't see. They go with me in to Victoria's Secret and you didn't give me a dirty look then, so what's the problem here? And really, are you following me? and why?
7. I understand you have a job to do. I do. But you need to understand I have serious allergies. Come at me with that spray bottle one more time after I tell you No Thank You, very politely, not once, but FOUR times and you are not going to be happy. The third time I even told you why. Don't try to convince me I'm not allergic to your shit, because as I walked by I immediately started sneezing and wheezing. Trying to follow me as I walk by is not helping your case, nor will it change my mind. Keep that fucking thing away from me.
But, I do want to say one thing. As I was leaving the mall, a teenage boy started kind of trying to bust past me. I opened my mouth to say something when I heard him start yelling "Ma'am let me help you with that" I looked towards where he was running and saw an elderly lady who was carrying a LOT of stuff. He went and helped her get it all in the car. The parents of that teen boy deserve a medal for raising a son like that.
And now on to the grocery store.....
1. Apples are not things for your children to play catch with. They are also not weapons of mass destruction for them to then start throwing AT each other. Don't get all bent out of shapen when I tell them to knock it off. Get off your cell phone and do your job as a parent.
2. How many times must I say this? Keep your children from running around like wild animals.
I just don't understand people. I really, really don't. And honestly I have given up trying.
Posted by The Sarcastic Mama at 4:43 PM
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Have you ever noticed, that the people who are quickest to point out how bad mannered, and ill behaved other people's children are, more often than not, the ones who let their own hellions run rampant? So have I.
You have all at some point read my rants about children running wild in the grocery store. It is not cute, nor is it darling when your badly behaved child is running around, bumping in to people, touching/dropping/breaking things they have no business touching or picking up in the first place. As I tell my own children, unless you have the money to pay for it, you have no business picking it up. This saves me from having to pay for something my children broke. This is called parenting. This is called teaching your children how to behave.
The same can be said for guests in your home. My children were raised to respect their elders, and to behave in public and in other people's homes. We have all had "those" children in our homes at some point. You know the ones. These are the children who throw balls in the house which almost always end up breaking something. These are the children who stand in the middle of a glass table (yes, this DID happen, and YES, I DID have a freaking heart attack) These are the children who write on your walls. And these are the children who break things, on purpose, just to get attention.
When you do not teach your children how to behave, or how to respect their elders and peers, you are not doing them any favors. You aren't. You are teaching them that they can do whatever they want to, with little or no consequence. this is not a good lesson for them to learn.
I have also noticed that these parents also fail to teach their children responsibility. Responsibility can cover a wide range of things, from how to be responsible for their own actions to being responsible for doing their own chores. You see having children do chores is something that teaches them not only that they need to help out in a household they live in, but how to take care of these things when they grow up and move out. Doing your 25 year old son's laundry, while he sits in the basement playing video games complaining that you did not buy him Twinkies is NOT teaching him responsibility. The reason your 25 year old son lives in your basement, unemployed, is because you failed somewhere at teaching him responsibility (this can be interchanged for a daughter, I am not being sexist, there are many irresponsible daughters too)
Teaching them how to behave takes time yes, it also takes patience. If you have neither time nor patience to teach your children how to behave, why did you have children in the first place? Put your drink down long enough to spend some time with your children. Teach them how to behave. Teach them how to be responsible. Children also learn through example. Are you setting a good example for your children? I'm guessing not if they behave badly and irresponsibly.
Posted by The Sarcastic Mama at 10:50 PM