As I wrapped the last Christmas gift a little bit ago, I was in deep thought over how birthdays and holidays affect my son. Since I was in such deep thought, I wasn't paying attention and I dropped the Millennium Falcon, and it made all kinds of noise. My son, who was supposed to be asleep, in his room, with the door closed (note, my door is closed too) heard the noise. I hear him pop out of bed, open his door, start banging on my door WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE MOMMY. Oh, I'm really tired I'm sleeping. NO YOU ARENT, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH TOYS!!!! That one's a smart one he is. Go back to bed. lol How can he hear this through two closed doors, yet he can't hear me say his name when I'm sitting right next to him?
I don't talk much about my children, so most all of you don't know my son has ADD. Birthdays and holidays are very hard on him. There are so many new things, and he wants them all open right now. RIGHT NOW. Patience is something we have been working long and hard on, but it does not come easy to him. His mind jumps forward too fast, and he can't stay focused, especially when faced with new toys. I know I should be looking forward to Christmas, and cherishing the fact this is my last baby being so excited for Santa to come. But honestly, I'm dreading our Christmas morning. He's meticulous about not tearing wrapping paper, so it takes him a while to open anything. He then wants to study it for a minute. I have no problem with this, I don't rush him, he does things at his own pace. The problem always comes when he is done unwrapping everything and borderline freaks out because he can't decide what to play with first. It's too much for him.
This year, I finally got smart. Most everything can be played with together. This is going to eliminate some of the short attention span/focus problem, and being overwhelmed for him. There of course are some other educational things, and his favorite, clothes. But for the most part everything can be played with together, and I think this is really going to make this Christmas morning so much easier for him. In birthdays and Christmases past, I have gotten in the habit of opening boxes to get guys/cars/whatever it is out to be one step ahead of him. This has also helped a lot.
I have been a parent a long time. What worked with one child did not work with the others. My son has been my biggest challenge to find what works with him. But he and I understand each other. I can find what works for him because I relate. There is too much "excitement" this time of year for him anyway, it overwhelms him to easy. We have quiet down time to try to help with that. Reading is his new passion, so we read a lot. I will be happy when the holidays are over though, so we can get back to our normal schedule.
And just in case you didn't catch it up at the top of this blog, that's right, all my wrapping is done. I just felt the need to make sure you knew this :)
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Merry Fucking Christmas. Is it over yet?
I know I am on a tangent about parenting lately, but it seems like every single time I leave the house I am hit with it. Before I go any further, and before someone comes along trying to start shit, I never claimed to be a perfect parent. I have made mistakes along the way. BUT, I have also been very consistent with what I expect from my children, and have always stayed on top of any behavior that got out of line. This is why my children are polite, respectful, and behave when I leave the house with them.
1. If you know your child requires a nap at a certain time, don't try to force the little darling in to being happy about sitting on a stranger's lap when said child misses their nap. I'm not sure who was more frustrated by that meltdown, Santa or you. Regardless, it's not fair to your child, and it's definitely not fair to Santa.
2. If you know your toddler is scared to death of Santa, do not force your child to sit on his lap. Holding him down while he's flipping the fuck out is not cool. I'm surprised Santa didn't bitch slap you to be honest. And it did look like he was going to.
3. Keep your kids in check. Allowing them to run around aimlessly knocking in to people, and running over toddlers is not cool. Laughing when that happens makes me want to run you over. With a truck. And then put it in reverse and run you over again.
4. The malls are crowded this time of year. Nobody likes that. But stopping to stare at the ceiling right fucking in front of me not once, but three times, causing me to run in to you all three times does in fact result in me saying "bitch get the FUCK out of my way". Don't look offended. There was nothing on the ceiling of interest. Yes I stupidly looked to see if I had missed something, and guess what? I didn't.
5. When mall security is chasing you through the mall, the smart thing would be to stop. Face it, you're caught. Don't start screaming about your rights when you are met at the other end of the mall by the other half of security and tackled.
6. Do not look at me like that for taking my children in to Hot Topic. There is nothing in there they shouldn't see. They go with me in to Victoria's Secret and you didn't give me a dirty look then, so what's the problem here? And really, are you following me? and why?
7. I understand you have a job to do. I do. But you need to understand I have serious allergies. Come at me with that spray bottle one more time after I tell you No Thank You, very politely, not once, but FOUR times and you are not going to be happy. The third time I even told you why. Don't try to convince me I'm not allergic to your shit, because as I walked by I immediately started sneezing and wheezing. Trying to follow me as I walk by is not helping your case, nor will it change my mind. Keep that fucking thing away from me.
But, I do want to say one thing. As I was leaving the mall, a teenage boy started kind of trying to bust past me. I opened my mouth to say something when I heard him start yelling "Ma'am let me help you with that" I looked towards where he was running and saw an elderly lady who was carrying a LOT of stuff. He went and helped her get it all in the car. The parents of that teen boy deserve a medal for raising a son like that.
And now on to the grocery store.....
1. Apples are not things for your children to play catch with. They are also not weapons of mass destruction for them to then start throwing AT each other. Don't get all bent out of shapen when I tell them to knock it off. Get off your cell phone and do your job as a parent.
2. How many times must I say this? Keep your children from running around like wild animals.
I just don't understand people. I really, really don't. And honestly I have given up trying.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
the lack of respect and responsiblity in most of todays youth
Have you ever noticed, that the people who are quickest to point out how bad mannered, and ill behaved other people's children are, more often than not, the ones who let their own hellions run rampant? So have I.
You have all at some point read my rants about children running wild in the grocery store. It is not cute, nor is it darling when your badly behaved child is running around, bumping in to people, touching/dropping/breaking things they have no business touching or picking up in the first place. As I tell my own children, unless you have the money to pay for it, you have no business picking it up. This saves me from having to pay for something my children broke. This is called parenting. This is called teaching your children how to behave.
The same can be said for guests in your home. My children were raised to respect their elders, and to behave in public and in other people's homes. We have all had "those" children in our homes at some point. You know the ones. These are the children who throw balls in the house which almost always end up breaking something. These are the children who stand in the middle of a glass table (yes, this DID happen, and YES, I DID have a freaking heart attack) These are the children who write on your walls. And these are the children who break things, on purpose, just to get attention.
When you do not teach your children how to behave, or how to respect their elders and peers, you are not doing them any favors. You aren't. You are teaching them that they can do whatever they want to, with little or no consequence. this is not a good lesson for them to learn.
I have also noticed that these parents also fail to teach their children responsibility. Responsibility can cover a wide range of things, from how to be responsible for their own actions to being responsible for doing their own chores. You see having children do chores is something that teaches them not only that they need to help out in a household they live in, but how to take care of these things when they grow up and move out. Doing your 25 year old son's laundry, while he sits in the basement playing video games complaining that you did not buy him Twinkies is NOT teaching him responsibility. The reason your 25 year old son lives in your basement, unemployed, is because you failed somewhere at teaching him responsibility (this can be interchanged for a daughter, I am not being sexist, there are many irresponsible daughters too)
Teaching them how to behave takes time yes, it also takes patience. If you have neither time nor patience to teach your children how to behave, why did you have children in the first place? Put your drink down long enough to spend some time with your children. Teach them how to behave. Teach them how to be responsible. Children also learn through example. Are you setting a good example for your children? I'm guessing not if they behave badly and irresponsibly.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The trials and tribulations of starting over when your fairy-tale ends in a nightmare
This is a particularly sore subject with me, but since one of my most favorite people in the world asked me to write about it, I can't deny the request. It is deeply personal, and probably the only deeply personal blog entry the public will see from me. All my other deeply personal blogs are private, or shared with very few people.
You meet the person of your dreams. There are sparks from the first second you lay eyes on them. The electricity that fills the room is unbearable. You have so much in common it's almost scary, but not quite scary because of the connection you feel with this person. You like the same things, you love the same things, you dislike the same things, your senses of humor are so in sync that you "get it" when nobody else does. A simple look from this person can turn your insides to jelly, and make you walk in to walls. Where has this person been all your life? How can it be that someone so perfect for you has taken so long to show up?
You fall in love. You fall hard. You make plans for the future. You combine checking accounts. You move in together. You may even get married. You have joint purchases with this person. Everything you do, you do together. (but yes, there are the times that you both spend with your respective friends) You start your own traditions, traditions you plan to carry on for the rest of your life with this person.
And then one day, out of the blue, this person walks out. There has been no warning. There is no talking about it. What you had thought all this time was the perfect person, turns out to be a person you just really don't know. Has it all been an act all this time? Did this person ever really love you? Were all the things and plans said and done with this person real? or was it just this person going through the motions?
You realize that your fairytale romance/relationship, has now turned in to a nightmare. You go through all the stages of grieving a breakup, which I call the stages of a breakup. I will list them:
1. Shock – wow I can’t believe this. this came out of nowhere. How did this happen? Why did this happen? I just can’t believe he would leave me with no warning.
2. Denial – he didn’t really mean it. Things will be ok in a few days. I can’t accept this. this is when every car door you hear outside makes you jump and think he came to his senses and came back.
3. Grieving – this is when the world is about to end, your heart is shattered in a million pieces, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t even breathe. You feel like you can't catch your breath because you have a boulder sitting on your chest. 15 lbs lost in a month. You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself because of the deep bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. Hair is falling out from lack of vitamins from eating. You can’t listen to the radio because you hear hidden love messages in every song, which makes you cry. You can’t watch tv because everything there makes you cry. You go in to your closet and see your wedding dress hanging there, and it brings back the deep, body shaking sobs. You rip it off the hanger and shove it in to the closest box. You will never wear it, so who cares if it gets wrinkled?
4. Anger – this is when your heart is still shattered, but now the anger has set in. how could he do this after everything we have been through together? How could he do this to me period? After all we have been through? After I have been there for him every fucking step of the way through things he went through.
5. Acceptance – you finally start to accept this is how it is. You start to sleep a little more at night. The bags aren’t so bad. Your appetite is coming back but you still can’t eat much at a time or you throw up. There are still moments of breaking down in hysterical sobbing, but it is now only a few times a day instead of all day long.
6. What. The. Fuck. – this is the most confusing of the stages. You get texts and calls from him saying “I love you” or “I miss you” or both. This is always followed by “I’m not ready to get back together” or “there is a possibility we could get back together” depending on the day. You are at the point you just don’t hold any faith in either statement, and what happens is what will happen.
7.Peace – you take a step back and realize you really might live through this after all. You reflect on what you have been through in the past 8 months, and realize who your friends really are, and definitely really aren’t. you are about to write the “aren’ts” off. Sleep is much better. When you are actually able to eat, it actually stays down. The bags under your eyes are still there, but not quite as noticeable. You get the attitude of “if he wants to talk to me he knows my number” and leave it at that. He still says he loves you, he misses you, but still doesn’t want to get back together. Instead of trying to talk to him about it, you just say “ok” and change the subject. This may be confusing to him, but you are trying to lick your wounds and heal. Crying is now reduced down to crying sometimes at bedtime, or if something triggers it…..”your song” or a special memory. Time will tell what will happen. Maybe you will get back together, maybe you won’t.
8. Moving on - Your heart is now a jaded piece of stone. You no longer cry. Life goes on, you are starting to get back in to the world of the living. When you get the texts, you roll your yes because you know they are just words, they don't mean anything. Actions speak louder than words, and if the words meant something, there would have been actions to prove it. Since there were no actions, you know in your heart they are, in fact, just words. You don't feel yet you will ever be able to trust anyone again. You realize you are just fine on your own, and do not need to have a significant other, especially one who will walk out on you. You no longer get teary at everything, you no longer have breakdowns.
So when your fairy-tale turns in to a nightmare, you will go through the stages of grieving, it's natural. But, in time you will be just fine. I promise. It may not feel that way, but you will get there. You will wake up from the nightmare, and be just fine. I promise.
You meet the person of your dreams. There are sparks from the first second you lay eyes on them. The electricity that fills the room is unbearable. You have so much in common it's almost scary, but not quite scary because of the connection you feel with this person. You like the same things, you love the same things, you dislike the same things, your senses of humor are so in sync that you "get it" when nobody else does. A simple look from this person can turn your insides to jelly, and make you walk in to walls. Where has this person been all your life? How can it be that someone so perfect for you has taken so long to show up?
You fall in love. You fall hard. You make plans for the future. You combine checking accounts. You move in together. You may even get married. You have joint purchases with this person. Everything you do, you do together. (but yes, there are the times that you both spend with your respective friends) You start your own traditions, traditions you plan to carry on for the rest of your life with this person.
And then one day, out of the blue, this person walks out. There has been no warning. There is no talking about it. What you had thought all this time was the perfect person, turns out to be a person you just really don't know. Has it all been an act all this time? Did this person ever really love you? Were all the things and plans said and done with this person real? or was it just this person going through the motions?
You realize that your fairytale romance/relationship, has now turned in to a nightmare. You go through all the stages of grieving a breakup, which I call the stages of a breakup. I will list them:
1. Shock – wow I can’t believe this. this came out of nowhere. How did this happen? Why did this happen? I just can’t believe he would leave me with no warning.
2. Denial – he didn’t really mean it. Things will be ok in a few days. I can’t accept this. this is when every car door you hear outside makes you jump and think he came to his senses and came back.
3. Grieving – this is when the world is about to end, your heart is shattered in a million pieces, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t even breathe. You feel like you can't catch your breath because you have a boulder sitting on your chest. 15 lbs lost in a month. You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself because of the deep bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. Hair is falling out from lack of vitamins from eating. You can’t listen to the radio because you hear hidden love messages in every song, which makes you cry. You can’t watch tv because everything there makes you cry. You go in to your closet and see your wedding dress hanging there, and it brings back the deep, body shaking sobs. You rip it off the hanger and shove it in to the closest box. You will never wear it, so who cares if it gets wrinkled?
4. Anger – this is when your heart is still shattered, but now the anger has set in. how could he do this after everything we have been through together? How could he do this to me period? After all we have been through? After I have been there for him every fucking step of the way through things he went through.
5. Acceptance – you finally start to accept this is how it is. You start to sleep a little more at night. The bags aren’t so bad. Your appetite is coming back but you still can’t eat much at a time or you throw up. There are still moments of breaking down in hysterical sobbing, but it is now only a few times a day instead of all day long.
6. What. The. Fuck. – this is the most confusing of the stages. You get texts and calls from him saying “I love you” or “I miss you” or both. This is always followed by “I’m not ready to get back together” or “there is a possibility we could get back together” depending on the day. You are at the point you just don’t hold any faith in either statement, and what happens is what will happen.
7.Peace – you take a step back and realize you really might live through this after all. You reflect on what you have been through in the past 8 months, and realize who your friends really are, and definitely really aren’t. you are about to write the “aren’ts” off. Sleep is much better. When you are actually able to eat, it actually stays down. The bags under your eyes are still there, but not quite as noticeable. You get the attitude of “if he wants to talk to me he knows my number” and leave it at that. He still says he loves you, he misses you, but still doesn’t want to get back together. Instead of trying to talk to him about it, you just say “ok” and change the subject. This may be confusing to him, but you are trying to lick your wounds and heal. Crying is now reduced down to crying sometimes at bedtime, or if something triggers it…..”your song” or a special memory. Time will tell what will happen. Maybe you will get back together, maybe you won’t.
8. Moving on - Your heart is now a jaded piece of stone. You no longer cry. Life goes on, you are starting to get back in to the world of the living. When you get the texts, you roll your yes because you know they are just words, they don't mean anything. Actions speak louder than words, and if the words meant something, there would have been actions to prove it. Since there were no actions, you know in your heart they are, in fact, just words. You don't feel yet you will ever be able to trust anyone again. You realize you are just fine on your own, and do not need to have a significant other, especially one who will walk out on you. You no longer get teary at everything, you no longer have breakdowns.
So when your fairy-tale turns in to a nightmare, you will go through the stages of grieving, it's natural. But, in time you will be just fine. I promise. It may not feel that way, but you will get there. You will wake up from the nightmare, and be just fine. I promise.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Guest Blog by Sit Still Silly Slut
Guest Blog by SitStillSillySlut
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
We've all been there, long term serious relationship goes sour for one reason or another. You part ways. A week or so later you are cranky and mean and you know what it is... you need fucked. Do you want to put the effort into gettin so fresh and so clean? Do you want to really smile in the mirror and work on your lines? OR... try to call that ex. There are perks and trap doors to this idea. Let's talk about them.
Perks~
All you have to do is shower and maaaaayyybeee shave. I mean seriously, long term, serious relationship, he's seen your legs hairy. You don't even have to put on makeup if you don't want to. BONUS!! Maybe it's just me, but I hate spending the twenty minutes to put makeup on, and the half hour to forty five minutes to do my hair JUST to have the makeup smeared and the hair ratted up in an hour or two.
You CAN shower, shave, spend two hours getting knock out'd up. Call that mother fucker and have him come over and you can PUT IT THE FUCK DOWN and make him hurt because he should still want your ass like he needs air! This is a revenge fuck, in one of it's plainest forms.
You already know what to expect. He knows what you like, you know what he likes, just makes for easier, and quite possibly a better fuck. Definitely quicker and smoother... And by quicker I mean to make it to the sheets.
Some of the downers of it~
Well... he could say no. And let's face it... if he says no, it's going to hurt. He might say no on principle. If you left him, he could be severely butthurt and going to say NO to get some of his ego back. But he could say yes, hopin if he puts it down on you, you will see the error of your ways. If he left you, chances are he's already bonin' someone else. If he's a true dog, he might fuck you behind her back. Which could be fun and exciting. So you got a 50/50 shot either way.
Emotions. The bane of any true slut's existence. And I am not talkin about his feelings. If you have a touch of feelings left, sex is only going to amp them up. Don't think you are pimp and can pull it off. You can't. If you still have that dreaded disease FEELINGS, move on and go to the bar. Because the only thing that's going to happen is that you are going to let every second thought run through your mind while he's thinkin about his nut. You will get hurt again, even worse than the original break up. It's just going to be all kinds of messy.
Okay, and here's another bad one... If you aren't together anymore, who's to say it's still clean?! Most people run out and fuck someone else as soon as they are single. It helps wipe the slate clean, it's where the Rebound thing comes into play. How many rebounds have they had since you split?? Oh, ya don't know?? Were they safe when they were sweating with someone else?? Oh yeah, you don't know that either... You weren't there. People lie.
I guess it all boils down to where you stand with your ex. How do you feel about your ex? Are you pimp enough to not have any feelings except physical? Are you secure in yourself enough that if they laugh at you when you make your booty call, that you won't hurt?
Personally, my boy brain kicks in... and I think to myself... "Been there, done that." While I am shaving my legs to go to the bar. We all know that there's bigger, better and more beautiful out there... So why shouldn't I continue on my quest to find it? I would only call an ex out of desperation, and that doesn't happen. I'm too fuckin cute for me to be desperate.
Now, go dig out your flat iron and your make up bag... it's Ladies' night at the local bar.....
*BSWK*
~The Slut
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
We've all been there, long term serious relationship goes sour for one reason or another. You part ways. A week or so later you are cranky and mean and you know what it is... you need fucked. Do you want to put the effort into gettin so fresh and so clean? Do you want to really smile in the mirror and work on your lines? OR... try to call that ex. There are perks and trap doors to this idea. Let's talk about them.
Perks~
All you have to do is shower and maaaaayyybeee shave. I mean seriously, long term, serious relationship, he's seen your legs hairy. You don't even have to put on makeup if you don't want to. BONUS!! Maybe it's just me, but I hate spending the twenty minutes to put makeup on, and the half hour to forty five minutes to do my hair JUST to have the makeup smeared and the hair ratted up in an hour or two.
You CAN shower, shave, spend two hours getting knock out'd up. Call that mother fucker and have him come over and you can PUT IT THE FUCK DOWN and make him hurt because he should still want your ass like he needs air! This is a revenge fuck, in one of it's plainest forms.
You already know what to expect. He knows what you like, you know what he likes, just makes for easier, and quite possibly a better fuck. Definitely quicker and smoother... And by quicker I mean to make it to the sheets.
Some of the downers of it~
Well... he could say no. And let's face it... if he says no, it's going to hurt. He might say no on principle. If you left him, he could be severely butthurt and going to say NO to get some of his ego back. But he could say yes, hopin if he puts it down on you, you will see the error of your ways. If he left you, chances are he's already bonin' someone else. If he's a true dog, he might fuck you behind her back. Which could be fun and exciting. So you got a 50/50 shot either way.
Emotions. The bane of any true slut's existence. And I am not talkin about his feelings. If you have a touch of feelings left, sex is only going to amp them up. Don't think you are pimp and can pull it off. You can't. If you still have that dreaded disease FEELINGS, move on and go to the bar. Because the only thing that's going to happen is that you are going to let every second thought run through your mind while he's thinkin about his nut. You will get hurt again, even worse than the original break up. It's just going to be all kinds of messy.
Okay, and here's another bad one... If you aren't together anymore, who's to say it's still clean?! Most people run out and fuck someone else as soon as they are single. It helps wipe the slate clean, it's where the Rebound thing comes into play. How many rebounds have they had since you split?? Oh, ya don't know?? Were they safe when they were sweating with someone else?? Oh yeah, you don't know that either... You weren't there. People lie.
I guess it all boils down to where you stand with your ex. How do you feel about your ex? Are you pimp enough to not have any feelings except physical? Are you secure in yourself enough that if they laugh at you when you make your booty call, that you won't hurt?
Personally, my boy brain kicks in... and I think to myself... "Been there, done that." While I am shaving my legs to go to the bar. We all know that there's bigger, better and more beautiful out there... So why shouldn't I continue on my quest to find it? I would only call an ex out of desperation, and that doesn't happen. I'm too fuckin cute for me to be desperate.
Now, go dig out your flat iron and your make up bag... it's Ladies' night at the local bar.....
*BSWK*
~The Slut
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